


Sleep away the pain dear friend

by RaspberryDevil



Series: shattered bones and truths [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Major Character Injury, Platonic Relationships, Recovery, Vomiting, implied gore, mild body horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-22 05:13:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20868743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaspberryDevil/pseuds/RaspberryDevil
Summary: (Claude really wants to sleep. But everything is just so so confusing, his head a mess. Voices he knows whisper, not behind his back but to calm him. He almost laughs. Maybe he does, considering the hand squeezing his arm, as if to make sure that he knows they are here. Or maybe they aren't and he imagines all of this.)Or: When all of this is over, Hilda promises herself that she'll never ever complain again when one of them gets a bit cranky and whiny because of a flu.





	Sleep away the pain dear friend

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I love Claude and the Golden Deer class a lot. Then I had an idea and just ran with it. This is a rather vague post-timeskip story... I'm not sure what else to tell you. I haven't written/finished a story like this in such a short time since ages. I hope you like it!

In the end, Hilda hadn't managed to get the full story. Trying to form a whole picture to understand what had happened, she pieced together different reports, cursing the lack of consistency. While a few people had been present, details had varied from person to person. Only three things had been consistent:

a. Claude had been hit by a foreign dark magic spell

b. Failnaught had taken the brunt of it and shattered in his hands

c. Claude had lost consciousness for a moment after falling from his Wyvern.

When Cyril had come back to the Monastery with an unconscious Claude behind him on the back of his Wyvern, she had almost screamed. Visibly shaken, Cyril told them that Those Who Slithered In The Dark had taken them by surprise at the base of the monastery. Despite of that, they had managed to push them back and even though some of them had been wounded, they had luck. Bad luck though, considering that their leader had lost his weapon.

While Hilda was thankful that he had brought Claude to them, she couldn't fathom why he hadn't been taken care of by the healers in their group. It's not until he's in the infirmary that she sees the reason for it, the need for their professors to be present.

Shards of the bow had torn his armour and the crest stone had burned the fabric on his shoulder, clinging to – no, Hilda realises with horror, it had drilled itself in his shoulder. Hanneman wasn't sure how to remove it and what the consequences would be, opting to carefully free his shoulder from the textile while doing as little damage as possible. All Manuela could do was give him some potion after healing the wounds from his battle as well as the fall. Since Claude seemed fine, for now, his breathing even and no open wounds, they had tried not to worry. Being at war meant that stressing out about everything was a waste of time.

So they had brought him to his room and hoped for the worst.

* * *

Lorenz doesn't mean to check on Claude because he is worried. No. How presumptuous. He just had an idea about something concerning a political scheme. Claude might be asleep, but knowing him, he might as well be awake and bored. Besides, it is still better to talk out loud instead of monologising in his own room.

Nodding at the guard in front of the door, positioned there since Caude's injury was known and they wanted to make sure he could recover without an assassination attempt, he knocks at the door. It's a personalised pattern so that Claude wouldn't mistake him for someone else; Claude had been amused when he proposed it since he's the only one who does it, but he indulges him.

There is no reply, but Lorenz still enters the room. He lights up a candle on his desk, papers in hand, ready to start talking – and stops when he sees him. Claude is lying on his back in linen shirt and pants, sprawled on his bed. The blanket is discarded on the ground and the sheet he's lying on is crumbled. His eyes are closed, but his expression is pained and he's breathing heavily.

“Claude?”

He only acknowledges him by tilting his head in his direction, barely opening his eyes. Lorenz approaches their leader, placing a hand on his forehead; his skin is hot to the touch. He's sweating. Is he running a fever all of a sudden? His panting turns into a groan which startles Lorenz. Before he loses precious time, Lorenz goes to the door and asks the guard to fetch Ignatz.

In a matter of second, he's back by his side, sitting on the bed's edge. Resting Claude's head on his thigh, Lorenz tries to comfort him. Claude flinches and it takes Lorenz a moment to realise why. Immediately, he shifts him to the other side, taking off his shirt to confirm his suspicion – the crest stone in his right shoulder is pulsing in a slow rhythm, the skin around it red. It seems encapsulated, but the crest on it is still visible.

It's weird to see it set in skin and not a weapon. He tries not to think what would have happened if that spell had hit Claude directly. To think that it was strong enough to shatter a hero's relic... very concerning. Or maybe it was made to destroy them, without an effect on the body? Who knows.

Ignatz doesn't take long to show up and he doesn't come alone. Of course. Raphael walks behind him, acting as his guard on the way through the dark hall, and even in his sleepy state, he keeps people in the shadows at distance. They are both alert when they see the state Claude is in.

Raphael follows Ignatz instruction and fetches a basin full of water. Some towels as well. While Ignatz makes sure that it is truly the stone and not another wound acting up, some infection causing the pain, Lorenz washes the sweat off his body. He glad that his hand isn't shaking while he presses a towel against Claude's forehead. Their leader doesn't seem aware of their help, his tossing and turning kept to a minimum with hands on his skin.

It's Hilda who shows up next, as if she suspected that something had been wrong.

Unable to sleep, she had intended to make a quick visit. To ease her mind. To remind herself that Claude was alive. If she's not prepared to find him like this, she doesn't let it show.

She switches places with Lorenz who – on Raphael's insistence – tries to fetch one of their professors. He comes back with Marianne and Lysithea instead, saying that Leonie is on her way as well. The adults are on an emergency mission, he tells them next, probably related to the ambush, and it's bad timing but they have to deal with that on their own. A few minutes later, Leonie shows up with a few vials in her hand.

Claude looks at them for the first time then, eyes glazed over. He shakes his head when Leonie offers him the potion, refuses the drink, a pitiful groan leaving his lips. They aren't sure if he realises that they are there and make another attempt, Marianne's soft voice trying to get through to him. Hilda helps him sit up and he shudders when he feels her hand on his bare arm. They are cold, a contrast to his own temperature; Raphael immediately goes to his wardrobe to fetch him a new shirt nevertheless.

(Claude really wants to sleep. But everything is just so so confusing, his head a mess. Voices he knows whisper, not behind his back but to calm him. He almost laughs. Maybe he does, considering the hand squeezing his arm, as if to make sure that he knows they are here. Or maybe they aren't and he imagines all of this.)

With their gentle urging, Claude drinks one of the potions. Allows Lorenz to help him with the fresh shirt. They wait a moment, to make sure that he keeps it to himself, then they help him to lie back down.

In the silence, when their leader's eyes fall shut and they are sure he's fallen asleep again, it's Leonie who speaks first.

“Holy shit.”

Lorenz doesn't scold her which leads to Marianne releasing and ugly sob while Hilda needs to sit down. It goes unspoken then, that they stay with him. Not guarding him, no, but spending their friend company. Even though it is difficult to fall asleep with the knowledge that there is no way what might happen come morning.

Neither mentions it later, but that night, all of them dream something like this:

Claude, standing in the destroyed cathedral, turning towards them. His chest full of blood, eyes glowing. His ribcage breaking open before he's turning into a demonic beast.

(They try to remind themselves that it's just a dream, that this isn't going to happen – they won't let it happen.)

* * *

Claude wakes up and his whole body hurts.

The first thing he's aware of is that Hilda lies on his right and Lorenz on his left side. Leonie sits on the floor but her upper body is resting on the bed while Lysithea and Marianne each occupy a chair. Raphael sits cross-legged on the floor, with Ignatz leaning against him. All of them are wrapped in a blanket and sleeping. He really doesn't want to wake them up, but he's in too much pain to consider being embarrassed about this.

“Aren't we a bit too old for a sleepover?”, he tries to joke, but his voice is weak and his throat hurts.

It's still loud enough to wake up Leonie and the two next to him. He feels hands on his body in an instant and really, the jokes are on the tip of his tongue – they always make it too easy – but his mouth doesn't seem to cooperate with him.

“No fever, thank the goddess.”

“You mean thank Ignatz. Honestly, Claude, you made him and the rest of us, especially me, work really hard.”

Hilda aimed for teasing. Claude can tell. But she can't hide the concern and he wonders how bad it has to be when even he, in his current state, can tell that. He croaks a 'sorry' and is thankfully sparred anything further when Lorenz clears his throat.

“Well, it could have been worse. At least you didn't snore.”

His attempt to joke doesn't really lighten the mood, but at least Claude can ignore the guilt he feels. Even though he can't remember much. It pains him to imagine that he caused them so much trouble.

“Here, drink this.”

This time, it's easier to sit up. Lysithea, now awake as well, hands him a glass of water before Leonie puts another potion in his hand. It tastes foul, but he doesn't complain. He's doesn't even ask what it is and he wonders since when he started to trust them like this. Claude closes his eyes again. His right shoulder hurts, so he turns on his left side, face pressed against the first stomach which is available to him. The fact that Lorenz doesn't complain makes him wonder again how bad it must have been.

(He remembers fingers going through his hair, softly spoken words, warm hands. He doesn't remember the sobs in the background, magic trying to fix something it didn't know, the panic in their eyes.)

“Move over”, he hears Leonie say and then it's not just her and Hilda on his right but also Lysithea at the end of the bed.

Normally, he would feel watched. Driven into a corner. Right now, he feels protected.

It's easy to fall asleep again.

* * *

There is another voice he hears then. He doesn't know it, the distressed call for their loved ones. There is a city he sees in his dreams. A battle field and an army he doesn't recognise. A person to match the voice to, the colour of their hair similar to that of Teach... no, to Rhea. Or is it Flayn? Everything blurs together at this point.

Later, he wakes up with a startled gasp. Raphael is above him, hands on his uninjured shoulder and one holding his hand, trying to be as gentle as possible when he presses him against the mattress.

“It's okay, we're here, it's okay”, Marianne says while he tries to make sense of her words.

Ignatz' hands are on his chest and he tries not to scream. He's successful, but he's clenching his teeth, so it had been a close call. His shoulder still hurts.

“It's okay, the professor is back soon, we got you.”

Claude can't read his expression, mostly because his vision is blurry and he's in so much pain. Why has it gotten so bad again? It feels like his blood is boiling, like something is devouring him. Attempting to, at least. His body doesn't feel like it's his own. As if something tries to take him over. Claude feels like throwing up. When Raphael lets go of him, he leans over the bed's edge and does exactly that.

He hangs there, thankful for the basin with the water, even though it means no more cool tissue on his forehead. He's exhausted. But not done. Ignatz' hand is on his back, moving in soothing motions while he makes sure to regret the last lunch he had. There is no open disgust. Or complaint. Raphael just smiles at him before he goes to get him fresh water. He's shivering, so Marianne offers him another blanket when Ignatz helps him to lie down again.

When his eyes slip shut, he's welcomed by the voice screaming in his head.

* * *

Claude sleeps through the whole second day. When he wakes up, he can't feel his arm. It's a welcomed feeling, even though he knows it should worry him. He wishes that it hadn't been his right arm. It'll be annoying to learn how to write with his left one. Huh. Teach would probably scold him for thinking so negatively. But at the moment, it's the only thing he can think of happening which doesn't mean his death (turning into a monster) so it is positive. Kind of.

He's alone for a few minutes, his thoughts running circles, before he gets visitors. And one of them has a determinate look on their face.

“Please, let me take a glance”, Lysithea asks and since he can't say no to her, nods when Ignatz offers him to help with getting off his shirt – it's a pity that the younger one is present or he might have made a joke or two to feel better.

Claude can't bring himself to look at his injury and is glad that neither comments on it. Lysithea reaches out to touch his arm, but he doesn't feel it. Should he mention that? But then Ignatz is probably going to feel troubled and he can't deal with this right now. It takes all the rest of his willpower not to scream into his pillow.

“Scales”, she mumbles and okay, now he is curious, so he turns his head and immediately regrets it.

There are not just black scales. His skin is cracked around the stone as if it was going to peel, black lines decorating his arm and maybe he feels like throwing up again. Okay, not maybe, he does feel the bile rising and bless Ignatz for reacting quickly and giving him a bowl he can spit into. Good thing that he hadn't eaten already, would have been a waste of a good lunch.

“We need to work on your skin care routine”, Hilda remarks when she sees his arm.

He hadn't realised her entering, neither Raphael who takes the bowl from his hands. Clearly not expecting an answer, she sits next to him on the mattress; it's a miracle that she hadn't complained about its firmness yet. His back starts to hurt and he's not sure if he can stay in bed any longer. He's not stupid. Claude knows that he needs at least a week of rest. But he's not sure if he has a week.

Suddenly, he feels like the strength he just gathered leaves his bones. It doesn't go unnoticed by the others. Ignatz nudges him and helps him into a new shirt. Lysithea took some notes and then she's gone, mumbling about showing them to the professors, ignoring Marianne who reminds her that she should let them rest for a few minutes.

He doesn't see her until the night when another terror takes hold of his body.

* * *

The numbness had been too good to be true.

His whole arm feels like it's on fire. Does he scream? Claude hopes that he doesn't, biting his lips, but he's sure that he can't suppress a few groans of pain. Leonie is there. Marianne as well. The door opens, but he can't tell who just left. He thinks that he hears them calling for 'professor' but his mind is too focused on the pain. It feels like something is crawling along his skin. He wants to rip his arm off if it meant that he could stop the pain.

His eyes fill with tears. Leonie's warm hands brush them away while Marianne tells him to stay awake. His gaze is unfocused so he has trouble identifying the two newcomers in the room. Then he hears their voices and even though it makes him feel like a child, there is some relief; it's Teach and Seteth.

“Claude?”, he hears the older one call him, followed by his hand on his arm; when he survives this, he's going to forbid people from speaking his name and touching him for a whole month, it's rather tiring by now.

(Okay, maybe not the touching, a small still sane part in his mind says, he likes that. He might have to think of a way to convince them to stay with him like this more often.)

“I don't think he hears you, Seteth, we've called for him a few times.”

Oh, is that Ignatz? Good. At least there is a genius to catch his last breathing moments and accurately portray him on a canvas. A pity he won't be able to see it. Maybe he's starting to get a bit delusional, though at this point he lets his mind wander so that it can focus on anything else but the pain.

“This is not good.”

Really? He hadn't been aware of it. Claude laughs, a groan interruption it, their concerned voices not reaching him. He can't seem to focus, as much as he tries, and then a new wave of pain is hitting him.

This time, he definitely screams.

*

(Bones crack under his feet when he moves. There is so much blood. It's his blood and yet it isn't. He's grieving, shedding tears for people he doesn't now but whose death affect him for some reason. He's sure that the pain is never going to end.

He holds his heart in his hand and prays.)

* * *

Claude wakes up around midday. Unsurprisingly, he still feels pain, yet it's a different kind. A nice change of pace. When he touches his shoulder, his fingers come into contact with fresh bandages, but there is no indication that the stone is still there. He's relived for reasons he can't name.

The others are still present, scattered across his room similar to the first time he had woken up. Hilda gave up her spot next to him for Ignatz and Leonie is at the end of his bed. But Lorenz is still on his left, his hair messy, and Raphael on the floor is barely covered by the blanket he shares with Hilda. Marianne and Lysithea put their chairs closer to the bed. There are too many people in one room.

Breathing feels easier.

“How are you?”

He turns his head to the side, spotting their professor standing in the door. Byleth looks tired and Claude is glad that he hadn't been awake to see him distraught as well. He isn't sure if he would have been able to handle it.

“Claude?”, he speaks his name, to make sure that he actually has his attention. Should he lie? No. Too exhausting.

“Better.” Not good, definitely not fine, but better. Byleth nods, a short “good” followed by a tug at the corner of his lips. He seems amused that Claude is trying to keep his condition to himself. But also relieved.

“You should go back to sleep.”

“Haven't done anything else the past days.”

He tilts his head to the side, regards Claude with a glance he can't interpret. He hates being this oblivious.

“Another day won't hurt. You... scared them. It would calm them if you'd rest.”

“Wow, guilt tripping me, teach?”, he asks in jest.

“Just stating the obvious”, Byleth says and then pauses, thinks, before he continues with “Seteth kept the stone. If this is any motivation to rest and recover.”

Ah, he knows him well. But after the past days, he isn't sure if he's ready to face whatever happened. The truth had never been less appealing. Maybe he can face it later. After the war.

“Thank you.”

(Byleth smiles at him and Claude almost wonders where he had seen this expression before.)

* * *

Claude is a bit disappointed that he wakes up alone after his talk with teach. Just a tiny bit. He has not yet completely recovered so he thinks that he can allow himself feeling like this.

“Pouting like a child doesn't suit you.”

Of course it's Lorenz who comes back first. Claude has a few retorts but can't decide on one – his mind is still a bit slow – and then it's too late to reply without making it awkward. Lorenz doesn't say anything else, just offers him an arm to help him to the bathroom like the last few times. Again, Claude wonders how bad it must have been for them.

“We've been thinking how tiresome it would be. Without you”, Lorenz says as if he had heard his thoughts; maybe he had spoken them, wouldn't be the first time these pasts hours that he can't tell what he thought and what he said.

“Please don't do that again.”

As if he had control over that. Claude opens his mouth to reply with something which might be cruel to says but closes it again. They were worried. He doesn't want to deflect. Not this time, not in this moment.

“I... okay.”

Ignatz had changed the sheets while they had been gone. He wants to thank them, but he's too overwhelmed. Raphael is the one who brings food and it's probably thanks to Leonie by his side that it's actually enough for all of them. Claude doesn't think that he can handle too much and just eats a small, stomach friendly potion.

They chatter. Raphael talks about his sister and how she can't wait to meet all of them one day. Ignatz mentions his current painting after Lorenz asked him about his latest accomplishment. Leonie describes her last visit to her village which Lysithea interrupts as soon as she starts taking about her stop at a local tavern.

Claude feels himself being lulled to sleep.

Honestly, he's rather tired of it by now. But before he knows it, he's on his back and the other's start to clean up. They are probably going to leave. Tend to their duties. There are certainly enough things to do around here. Important things. War planning stuff. Yet he can't help himself.

“Please, stay”

And this time, he knows that he said it, though he falls asleep before he figures if they follow his request.

* * *

Hilda helps him to sink into the warm water in the bathtub. At this point, he's not sure if she's indulging him or he her. But next to Raphael, she's the only one who can carry his weight on her own and the other one hadn't been available, so he remains quiet. Just because Claude had been out of commission, a war doesn't stop. Though despite of the pain, the last four days had felt like peace.

“Leonie did some shopping.”

Claude listens to her chattering while she washes his hair. She's no Hubert or Dedue, but when Ignatz had mentioned that he might need to get rid of the sweat, nobody questioned it that she had offered her help. Though he'd rather wash the rest of his body on his own.

“You need a new good bow after all. Nader helped her, though I'm not sure where he found the one he traded. It's nice, I'm sure you like it. Seems Almyran inspired. She also found a new axe she's willing to share with you.”

Eyes closed and enjoying her hands in his hair, he just hums. She sighs.

“I need to go. Do you manage the rest on your own? I'll send Raphael to you later.”

“It's fine.”

“Good.”

She hesitates for a second. Then she places a small kiss against his temple.

“Try not to drown.”

“I won't.”

Claude relaxes in the bath. He tries to ignore the slight pain from his raw shoulder. The skin is slowly healing. There are still scales which professor Manuela had been too worried about to remove in fear of an infection. She had tried to get one off, but his skin had been bleeding as if it had been a part of his body he had just picked. Maybe they would fall off, though the least he was hoping for was that they wouldn't spread.

Maybe he really had to cut off his arm in the end, depending on the results of the analysis Hanneman is running on his blood. If there is something in his blood which hadn't been there before, getting rid off his arm would be a waste. Though then he could at least harvest the scales, maybe use them in a potion.

“What are you thinking about?”

Claude tips back his head and lazily grins at Lorenz. It's kind of sweet that they check up on him and it's really difficult to keep his mouth shut, fearing that teasing them might push them away. Before his bath, Marianne had kept him company during his meal. They had remained silent, most of the time, but she had told him a bit about the stable. How the garden was tended to. It had been nice.

“You have this stupid look on – Ah, never mind. Let me help you.”

Lorenz. As eloquent as usual.

“Do you want to join me?”

Okay, in the end he can't help himself, winking at Lorenz who just sighs.

“Looks like your idiocy returned.”

He tries to aim for annoyed, but Claude feels like he also sounds relived. Maybe a bit fond.

“Glad you appreciate that.”

“Honestly”, he says, shaking his head but smiles at him, “I don't know why, but I do.”

* * *

Claude misses the back of his Wyvern. Misses researching and experimenting. But he can admit, at least to himself, that he needed this break. No, he should call it what it was. A recovery. They can't be sure what they have to expect the next time they have to confront Those Who Slither In The Dark. But they'll be better prepared once they face them. They had a duty to fulfil. He had a dream to achieve.

Claude won't allow this to happen again.

(And if he still dreams about standing on a battle field, his arm bursting open and him turning into a demonic beast, then this is his secret to keep.)

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I'm so bad with lore that this might contradict canon, but I hope you enjoyed this despite of some creative liberties... Feel free to ask away if some things weren't clear or you think that I should add an additional tag/warning.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Edit 13/10/2019: fixed some typos and added this to a series because I had some ideas which wouldn't leave me alone


End file.
